From the recording The Noir Album
"Five Hundred Large" represents the film noir subgenre category of "the heist film", classic examples of which are The Killing (1956) or The Asphalt Jungle (1950). This song's arrangement features the horn section of The Theatre Bizarre Orchestra, one of the coolest ensembles to emerge from Detroit's dark and talented collective unconscious in recent years.
Lyrics
Five Hundred Large
I did a three spot with a banker from Manhattan
Hand in the cookie jar
when he fell off the wagon
He had a master plan
A job years in the making
Five hundred large a man
It’s ours just for the taking…
Our banker was a mensch
Blueprints he had in stacks
Turns out they built his bank
Above the subway tracks
The nearest station there
Closed back in ‘49
The perfect place to open up
Your own goldmine
Now don’t you tell a soul
Don’t even tell your wife
This secret stays with us
Swear on your mother’s life
We do this right
We’ll all be layin’ in the sand
Five men to rob a bank
Five men who have a plan
Five weeks until we get
Five hundred large a man
Bank closes up at six
The cleaners done by nine
We work from ten ‘til five
That gives us plenty time
We need permits and tags
Hardhats and uniforms
The schedule of that train
Info on bank alarms
Worklights and two jackhammers
And curtains for the lights
Shovels and pickaxes
And no more sleepin’ nights
We do this right
We’ll all be layin’ in the sand
Five men to rob a bank
Five men who have a plan
Five days until we get
Five hundred large a man
Dig dig dig dig
Dig dig dig dig
Dig dig dig dig
Keep diggin’ now
(repeat)
“I’m gonna buy a new Corvette--
White with red leather seats--
Maybe a full length fur coat for the Mrs.--
Maybe a trip to Aruba
Where is Aruba anyway?
It’s off the coast of Venezuala…
Keep digging’ now…”
Dig dig dig dig
Dig dig dig dig
Dig dig dig dig
Keep diggin’ now
Hand hand fingers thumb
Look out dollars, here we come
Five men to rob a bank
Five men who have a plan
Five inches ‘til we get
Five hundred large a man
“Hey, did you hear that…?”
“Nah, I didn’t hear anything.”
“No seriously, listen…”
“Man, that’s coming from right above us…we gotta get out of here!”
“You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be blah blah blah…I get a phone call right?”
I’ll be home but I don’t know when
Come and see me while I’m in the pen
With good behavior I’ll be out in ten
I won’t get caught when I do it again
I won’t get caught when I do it again
I won’t get caught when I do it again
I won’t get caught when I do it again